I haven’t written in almost two months, the primary reason being that I’ve been pretty depressed. I’ve had depression since I was about 11 and I usually go through several pretty bad periods every year. Somehow, though, I still manage to forget just how encompassing it is and its ability to ruin any kind of plan. So for the last while I’ve been concentrating on basic functioning and getting through daily mundane tasks, most of which felt like climbing mountains. In the meantime;
I wrote an article for Dazed about the link between health concern trolling and the poor mental health of fat women. Every fat woman I know has been concern-trolled at some point – strangers who think we’ve never heard of heart disease or diabetes and feel like it’s their duty to tell us how early we’re going to die and how selfish we’re being for using NHS resources – yet concern trolls don’t give a shit about the impact it has on our mental health. You can read the piece here. If you’re a fat person who likes talking to other cool fat people, feel free to join this Facebook group I help moderate (it is a lovely space).
I’ve been to the cinema a lot. The cinema is my favourite place, with bonus points given to cinemas with comfortable seats I can sit in for a few hours without ending up in agonising pain. The cinema is my refuge, and my sister sent me a good article expressing what I mean you can read here. In the space of ten days I saw seven films. I go to the cinema when I’m not depressed too, but I go more when I’m not well. It gets me out of the house without having to spend too much money or interact with people.
My mum visited and my sister and I took her to see Mamma Mia for her birthday. Unsurprisingly, it was excellent.
I did this video for the Trades Union Congress about mental health and work and how they’re linked, and I spent a few days by the sea for a union conference which did wonders in calming me down.
I’ve been running phonebanks every week for marginal seats in the general election – where Labour hold small majorities, or we have the chance to topple a Conservative small majority – which has been incredibly important and exhausting in equal measure. I got my hair cut this week after needing it done for ages. I’ve seen my fifteenth play of the year. My drama with the DWP has mostly come to an end and I’ve finally had money reinstated I got taken off me. My niece has continued to be the most adorable human to ever exist on the planet. I am slowly rebuilding the confidence depression saps from me every time it arrives. The sun is helping.